Friday, March 07, 2008

Friday Funnies #3

Just preparing to fly from the proverbial cuckoo nest that is my job, for the relative peace of my “perpetual motion” weekend~ tomorrow is our turn for “House to House” dinner (I got stuck with the rude lady again- Lord, grant me an extra measure of self control) & Sunday, I’m out at Ravenswood, on my own giving tours, & it looks to be a lovely weekend, which naturally means lots of visitors. Some time in there, I need to sit down & actually write a letter (not typed or email; an honest-to-goodness handwritten epistle, with paper & ink) to a new pen pal I met through Ravelry; what was I thinking?

So, in lieu of an original entry- which requires a certain level of concentration- let me offer up some observations on mid-life, emailed to me by my MIL.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wingspans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts; we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all, cell phone-wielding teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally -- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.

Mid-life means that you become more reflective . . . You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy Choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?

But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important. We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!


GardenGoose said...

LOL loved the post here..hope the rude lady isn't so rude this time around. hope you have a lovely weekend.
thanks for stopping by..yes it was awesome seeing the Canadian Geese flying over the house.

Cathy ~ Tadpoles and Teacups said...

HA! HA! These are so funny!
THanks for the laugh.

GardenGoose said...

hope the dinner party went well..thanks for stopping by..always enjoy your visit.
have a good week.

Dana said...

These are hilarious...and I know them all to be true...

Thanks for the laugh...