My high school years were never this much fun!

I love to tell stories- I enjoy entertaining friends & coworkers with anecdotes about my rather extensive & eccentric relations. Some might even say that I have entirely too much fun at my family’s expense; but fair is fair- they really do make it easy.

Winter Ball 2008

[A brief & embarrassing preface- my son has not had a girlfriend (or even a date, that I know of) in nearly 2 years. As cute, charming, & funny as we all know Sam is, his open, friendly nature combined with the baby-face of a 14 year old seems to keep him in the “I really like him…as a friend” category with the majority of females.]

 

The premier high school social event of the season is the Winter Ball, which is held in January at a location in San Francisco. None of my children has ever gone to this dance- mainly because it is a “Girl’s Choice” event; Jess wasn’t interested in doing “high school” stuff, & Sam, well, has never been asked.

Until now.

About a month ago, KN, the girlfriend of Sam’s tricking buddy MC, unofficially asked Sam to accompany her to Winter Ball (I say unofficially because there is evidently a whole ritual that is involved with the certified “official” invitation to Winter Ball, the mysteries of which we are not allowed to delve). This unofficial invitation was proceeded by a series of protracted negotiations between KN, MC, & Sam; you see, MC has graduated & therefore is not allowed to attend the dance, KN is a senior & wants to make a last splash with a safe escort, & Sam just wants to help a friend without getting his a$$ kicked. This process took several days of trading phone calls, IM’s, & notes between the principals (“Are you sure this is okay with you?”) before being settled, & then the planning began.

Being a helpful & encouraging Mom, I told Sam to remember that first & foremost, he will be KN’s life-sized Ken doll, so forget about having any say whatsoever in his attire for the evening. Since transportation had already been prearranged (a charter bus for 20 couples), the restaurant selected (some place in Japantown), & the tickets purchased by the inviter, his responsibility was to ask what style & color dress KN would be wearing, so he could order the appropriate corsage, & to show up on time, showered, shampooed, & shined.

I guess I overestimated his role.

Following Mom’s sage advise, Sam sought out KN a few days later to pose the color scheme question; he told me he got as far as, “Hi”, before KN barked out the following orders:

“Good, you saved me a call; you need a black suit, a maroon shirt with a collar, & a gold tie- a straight one, not a bowtie. I’ll need an orchid wrist corsage & a second one for my hair- this flower shop already has my order on file.”

Yes, Ma’am!

Maroon shirt. Gold tie. Ugh.

I asked him if that was gold colored or actually metallic gold- he said he didn’t know & frankly was afraid to ask; I reminded him it could be worse- she could’ve said a maroon tuxedo, ruffled gold shirt, & a rhinestone studded bowtie.

After a week or so, I found a website that carried all manner of formal & uniform wear at reasonable prices, including gold ties- plain & lamé- & tuxedo shirts in a rainbow of hues. Since shades of color are a particularly subjective idea, Sam agreed that he should request a close-up photo of KN’s dress fabric to help make a match- one person’s maroon could be another’s burgundy or plum, & we don’t want any last minute disasters- as well as a clear directive about the tie. The next week, he sends an IM & gets the following response:

“Another girl on the team (volleyball) bought the same dress, so maroon is out; now it will probably be the purple strapless, or maybe the gold halter. BTW- what do you mean gold colored? Gold means metal!”

Okay.

Purple shirt & metallic gold tie.

Double ugh.

The official invitation & acceptance have not been made at this point, so I’m beginning to wonder if Sam is going to bail out. Perish the thought, Mother Dear- he is a good sport & looks at the exercise as good practice for his eventual wedding day; besides, he knows that she’ll probably change her mind at least two more times before the actual event.

A week passes; then it’s Sam’s turn to throw a wrench into the works.

He gets himself a girlfriend.

Yep- Studley Do-Right scores himself a cutie after a two year drought.

I had been hearing CA’s name pop up in conversations for a couple months, but did my very best not to pry- my only question was “CA who?” Turns out she is one of the gymnastic instructors for the gym where his dojo is located & attends the same high school. They’ve been “talking” & “hanging out” at school for a few weeks now, & Friday evening made the couple part official.

Now, Sam would never consider backing out of going to Winter Ball with KN- she’s his friend & he promised MC that he would look out for her. CA has known all along that Sam is planning on going to Winter Ball with KN- she’s perfectly fine with that arrangement & hadn’t planned on going in the first place. The problem now is KN.

KN says Sam has to take CA to Winter Ball.

She has refused to issue the “official” invitation & has opened negotiations with boyfriend MC on another acceptable escort.

I told Sam he should sue for breach of contract, with punitive damages for emotional distress & fashion violations- it could pay for the rest of Senior Year activities!

He said he’s going to duck & cover for the next 3 weeks, until invitation season is over- let the women hash it out.

Yesterday, in Sam’s 6^th period class, this was delivered:

 

 

It was from CA.

She says he should pick the colors since she’s color-blind.

I think I’m going to like this girl.