Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A little blue around the edges

Well, it looks like Wednesday has turned into my posting day for the time being; between work & “real life” commitments, time to compose an entry has become difficult to find.

We’re chugging along in the Garden, living day to day, celebrating both the little accomplishments & the big milestones; unfortunately, I find myself wrestling with some persistent disquiet in my spirit. We have always weathered the ups & downs of the economy over the past 20 years with only the occasional flicker of concern, but this time, I’m really uneasy about the prospects of both Chris & I remaining employed.

Since September, my company has laid off five people- one of them a key manager- & is seriously shaving expenses on all fronts. I believe my position is secure enough to be retained until we actually have to close the doors, which is unlikely in the near future but not out of the realm of possibility. More troubling is the fact that Chris works in a recreational industry (motorhome rentals & used wholesale dealer); previous dips in the US economy have been more than offset the volume of international bookings, but now with this truly global financial crisis, we are unsure of how the next year is going to play out. To top all this good news off is the report from the state that the unemployment insurance funds will be insolvent by the end of January.

Now, I’m pretty good at impersonating Scarlett O’Hara- “I’ll think about it tomorrow”- & make a point of avoiding the evening news, the business section of the newspaper, & any discussions about how bad it’s getting; but lately, I’ve been waking in the wee dark hours, beset by troubling dreams & unable to shut my brain off from the continual swirl of “what if’s”. I know it serves no practical purpose, but reason has little power over the fears of midnight. Of course, the dreary weather hasn’t helped:



This is the view from my car as I drive to work over the past couple of weeks; the fog lifts around noon to cloudy skies, and then descends again in late afternoon.



So, let’s focus on something else for a bit.

Thanksgiving was pleasantly quiet & uneventful. We drove down to pick up Jessica on our way to dinner with immediate family at Mother’s home in Berkeley. The corporate meal was bountiful & delicious, every one contributing a couple things to the feast; after dinner, we sat around the table exchanging stories, instead of the traditional “perform something if you want dessert” in the living room.


Mother was reasonably restrained & having a great time modeling her temporary headgear- she just had a large basal cell carcinoma removed from her scalp & is vain enough to want to cover up the staples. The following is for my 4F buddies- see, her hair really is green J




Friday, Chris & I woke up relatively early (considering we didn’t get home until 1:30 am) to do a fly-by at Bass Pro Shop ($10 jeans) & the fabric store

(a rolling sewing machine tote & wrapping goodies) before settling in to watch football & eat leftovers. Saturday was spent in the foothill town of Sonora, where his mom grew up, attending a Christmas craft & music festival (great music, nice crafts- but nothing I couldn’t live without), then wandering around the old town, poking into the shops & local museums (brought my camera, but didn’t take a single photo!). Sunday was “Hunker Down” day for me, working on knitting projects & finishing the stack of hemming that kept getting put off,



while the guys went over to the church to serve at the seniors’ Thanksgiving Banquet- Sam even sang a solo with the youth choir (the torch has been passed!)

So, that pretty well wraps up the week.

Oh, except for one little thing.



This is my baby, taking his driving test.

He passed.

I didn’t get the shot of him clicking his heels.

We went out to celebrate with Orange Chicken, pot stickers, & Wor Wonton soup, while he called




in his address book; I think he’s a little excited.

And, no, I haven’t let go out by himself yet; I think I have enough stress in my live right now.


50s Housewife said...

I know how it feels to lose sleep worrying. I wish I could help you feel better. I'll be praying!

Shannon said...

OH MY goodness! It IS green! That is too stinkin funny!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Your table and the people around it is/are beautiful! The foggy picture is perfect, I love it! And WOO HOO to the passing of the driver's test - what an accomplishment...and I should know, I failed my first one HAHAHA :)

Guinevere said...

This has been a year of sleepless nights for me too. I have woke up in the wee hours of morning worrying...then unable to get back to sleep. I just try to pray and practice my destressing techniques. (Doesn't always work.)

I'm sure Sam was PUMPED that he passed his driver's test! Nitro was smiling from ear to ear when he came home with his license. lol Which reminds me, he needs to go in and get the 'Y' restriction taken off. (In IA, until you turn 18, you have a 'Y' restriction on your license which basically means that if you get a speeding ticket, it gets suspended. But you can have the suspension removed by going in to the DMV and talking to an interviewer - with a parent. You basically have to explain why you got the ticket and what you're going to do to avoid getting another one in the future and the parent has to tell them what they, as a parent, plan to do to avoid a repeat. Really weird.)

And why does your mom have green hair? I must've missed something! lol

Charity said...

I'm sorry everything is so quietly stressful right now, Meg. You are definitely not alone, but that's not always helpful to hear. Hang in there. :0)

Congrats to the new driver, how exciting!

VENTL8R said...

I think everyone is unsure where this economy is headed. No job is safe regardless of the situation; that much I do know. But, we muddle along and keep our heads up. Smiling helps, too. If nothing else it makes people wonder what you're up to. ;-)

Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

I can easily say you are not alone in your fears and anxieties. Of course there is nothing you can really do, but just hope and pray that those anxieties will not come to fruition, but that doesn't really help in the moments of panic, does it? I hope you will remember though how God has clothed the flowers of the field in all their splendor, and not one of them can compare to how much he truely loves you my friend!

Take care,

Debbie said...

Scarlet does not get enough credit. That woman was brilliant, I tell you.

Stacy said...

Bwah..Ha..Ha..Ha..I love the hair. I mean I was thinking a little grean tint, not GREEN!

Hope things start looking up for you soon.

Congrats Sam!

Stacy said...

Bwah..Ha..Ha..Ha..I love the hair. I mean I was thinking a little grean tint, not GREEN!

Hope things start looking up for you soon.

Congrats Sam!

nikkicrumpet said...

It is a scary financial time. I think the only thing we can do is try to saving, stocking up on needed items and cutting costs where we can. Then at least you feel like you're doing something...for me it lessens the fears a bit.

Lisa said...

Yay Sam!!! And Meg, I want to perform something for dessert! Just kidding ... that'd probably send me to tears. I'll be praying for your job security ... but my dear, that weather. No kidding you feel dreary!!

Jane! said...

I got a dose of economic reality when I went to Walmart last night and found numerous parking places within spitting distance of the door. Frightening!
As usual your knitting skills have me all kinds of jealous. You do such bee U T full work.
Good luck with that driver... I know how you feel but what a load off not to have to drive them ev. ry. where.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I hate when your mind is in overdrive and you can't sleep... hate it! Hope you can find some chamomile or something to help in the evenings...
Of course, with a new driver in the house, it might not help. ;)
Tammy :):):)

Becca said...

Thinking of you and hoping that you are ok.


Becca said...

Meg, please go to your account and look for the pm there. I left the information there for you. My name there is maksbestfriend. I do apologize that you did not get your partner.


Faithfulmom said...

I have missed you on MSN! I am glad you are still blogging and I will have to update your site so I can drop in more. You are in my prayers as the world changes!

Anonymous said...

Knock*knock*knock,,, Meg?? Are you home? It's Wednesday!!
Hoping you're not stressing but finding ways to enjoy the season... like having your son do the driving, run and fetch trips!
Tammy :):):)

Mrs. Staggs said...

Hi Meg,

Boy, that no sleep thing is going around! I know how unsettling that feeling of worrying about jobs and all is. My husband works in the aerospace industry, and we've had some challenging times in the past, when there have been downturns. Now, we are watching family and friends in the construction industry really struggle, and one of my dearest friends recently had to start all over again, when the company that she'd worked for since she was 23 laid her off. She is 61 now, so imagine how hard that must have been. She's single too, so depends only on herself. I think that when these times come around, people rally around each other too, and things do have a way of working out. I'll hold a good thought for you.

Those mittens are beautiful!

Congratulations to your son! That's such an exciting time, and especially for the young men, I think.

Dana said...

I am completely with you on the financial woes...I have been drinking a lot of Tazo's 'Calm' tea blend at night...

Praying for you and America.